Fine Lines

Accountability partners are valuable – often they can see what you cannot. Most often it’s either by experience from their own spiritual growth or simply because they are not as close to a particular situation.

I’ve been told I am a kind person – a nice person – yippee! wonderful! right? That is true…we want to be a reflection of God’s goodness & mercy! We want to exhibit fruit of the Holy Spirit!

Its a fine line though….we must be careful to ensure what we perceive as kindness isn’t really just being nice.

What’s the difference? Being nice can easily result in enabling negative or even destructive behaviors in others – being nice or agreeable doesn’t necessarily mean you are acting for the good of others.

Intimate Details

In the accounting world, the month following a calendar quarter is pretty busy…lots of numbers to crunch, reports to file….all sorts of bean counter “stuff”…

As I was knee deep in the hustle and bustle of things, one morning Doug asked about some of my activities; without hesitation I launched into a dissertation on the nuances of analyses, complexities of variables, and target audiences…sounds exciting, right? Okay – perhaps not, but apparently I was motivated to share!

Later that evening, Doug said something that struck a nerve – it wasn’t meant (or taken) as hurtful, yet it cut to the quick all the same and I wasn’t exactly sure why…he said something along the lines of “You should have heard yourself this morning – sharing all the details of your work – the excitement and passion in your voice…I couldn’t help but think, ‘Wow, I wish she was that interested in me.’

In my last blog I wrote about how interested G_d is in the details of our lives…so much that He will reinforce lessons with additional materials when needed – my example was about stepping into my calling and how within a matter of hours, G_d provided multiple examples of how others struggled with the same issues and how He saw them through.

I went on to write about “choosing to seek Him daily by digging into His Word and living to exhibit a genuine level of passion for Him far exceeding any worldly interests.” – looks great on cyber paper doesn’t it? It begs a question though, “am I doing it?” Well…to be perfectly honest, no – not compeletely anyway. Granted, we all have room for growth – however, I can’t help but wonder if G_d ever looks at my life and thinks, “Wow, I wish she was that interested in me.”

You see, when I draw parallels to my everyday life, my work life in particular, I see an individual fully committed – an individual willing to trust sources, put in the time needed to learn various applications, and exhibiting a genuine passion to share with others. Sound familiar? Yes indeed! You see, G_d is so committed to a relationship with each of us, He is willing to provide a customized program – aka our lives – G_d has no desire for a cookie-cutter body of believers – He designed each of us uniquely and has a deep desire to direct the steps of our personal parade so we can better relate to Him and in turn, relate Him to others.

Letting Go

January 10, 2010

The way people celebrate the New Year is interesting – parties til all hours of the night, quiet get-togethers, loud get-togethers, etc. This year I did something different. I was fortunate to spend New Year’s Eve at a tiny church in a tiny town with a friend and about 50 or so (maybe more) total strangers with at least one common thread. We had gathered to hear Sarah Reeves and John Waller – two amazing Christian artists. I’d never heard Sarah before that night, but her voice was like an angel’s and I am excited to hear her again. Most people probably know of John from the movie Fireproof and the song While I’m Waiting. I’ve only listened to his music for a few short months, but his songs are powerful and I was eager to hear him in a live setting. It wasn’t a concert per se, it was more like a quiet evening of ministry through music. John shared with us some of his journeys leading to songs.

It was personal and profound how God is using John to reach others – to spread His Word. And the thing is, I’m pretty sure God wants that kind of relationship with all of us – to be a vessel of sorts. I’m sure a gazillion folks already get this concept, but not everyone travels at the same pace – me, for example!

The trouble is those pesky negatives that seem so easy to draw my attention…fear, rejection, doubt, guilt, shame, you name it…all the things I let get in the way. If Our God…your God…my God… really is to reign over my life, I have to look beyond all that. What to do? I know I keep saying the same thing over and over…it’s not complicated…it’s ridiculously simple and I make it complicated….Just let go. Let God.