Hello! I’m still here…

January? Seriously? I’ve been pretty lackluster in consistency before, but this year? Dang! Little did I know on Jan 1st all that might follow…. thankfully, I’ve been present enough to see God on the move…. unfortunately, I haven’t been present enough to share beyond my innermost circle.

NO TIME LIKE TODAY, RIGHT?

January-March

Before COVID-19 transfixed the globe in its unfathomable horror of devastation, in my own little world devastation was front and center as 2020 was in its infancy. Never ever did I anticipate all that might unfold in the days, weeks, and months to come.

Probably one of the top five things a parent prays for is the health of their children’s marriages…. anyone who is, or has been married, knows that marriage is hard work and all too often (speaking to self here!), the reality of allowing life to dictate your path hits you square between the eyes….and heart. I was a child of divorce and as I’ve written before, the one thing I never wanted was my child to experience the pain of divorce. Often that meant putting on my ‘big-girl’ panties & setting pride aside. Granted, I had many failed attempts, but God, family, and friends consistently nudged me in the best direction.

While many were making plans for 2020, my daughter was on the brink of life-changing events and this mama’s heart was breaking for her shattered dreams. The thing is though, as painful as that season might have been, I also found a resounding strength in knowing God would see her through. I had no idea what that picture looked like, but still I was certain God would be there to walk alongside each of us as she/we passed through the storm.

No, I won’t be sharing the details of her story, but I will share mine….the story of a mama crying out to her God – the LORD of her life – for wisdom, discernment, strength, and the ability to be supportive with the knowledge that she (that would be me) could not fix any of it. Kinda hard, right? Well, it was. BUT during that season, God afforded me the physical strength and stamina to be there…. to pack, to move, to nurse, to encourage, and to provide physical shelter from a storm.

Little did I know in the months following, I would be in my own storm. That story is for another day. Just remember this: Through pain, change, heartbreak, illness…..you fill in the blank…

GOD IS THERE

Lauren Daigle is one of my favorite artists, and “Rescue” quickly became an anthem of sorts…..a beautiful reminder that no matter what, God is there

He will not abandon you

He will make beauty from ashes!


#write31days – Day 6

 As rocky as 2013 started, I had no idea just how crazy life would get! Even as things were becoming very clear my dad’s lifestyle demanded a dramatic change, I was finding myself thanking God for the multiple hospital visits throughout 2012.  As difficult as those times were, God eased me into accepting the New Norm for my dad – the roles were shifting – his sense of independence waning as he fought changes with all his might – his identity was completely wrapped up who he believed he should be – along with the unrealistic expectations he placed on himself….and any deviation triggered tailspins of Looney Tunes  Tazmanian devil  (if you’re younger than oh…say 45, you might want to google the reference!) proportions.

I was thankful, because in the year prior, I not only made a point to become more informed about my dad’s medications, bills, etc. (stuff that’s so easy to overlook ), I was given the gift of time to get to know my dad as an adult – a person outside of my bubble.  There was a big part of me that didn’t want to accept the change either…not because becoming a caregiver wasn’t my cup of tea…because he was my dad…the strong, independent, pain in the rear guy who loved to help other people in his community.

Today…as I’m still learning to Embrace a New Norm, I can’t help but think about a few Tazmanian monster moments of my own….

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