Bible Art Journaling – What’s Your Agenda???

It came!  After what seemed like months (actually just a couple of weeks), my journaling Bible arrived!  I must admit…the first night I looked through my new Bible, thinking about which book… which verse… would be the first in my art journaling adventure….those initial feelings…those feelings of making my Bible “ugly” and held me back months ago, came flooding in again….and so I gently laid it on the nightstand for another day.

The next morning I woke with determination to push past unrealistic expectations and just do it…start the art journaling process! After all, I was prepared…I was confident my artwork would be fine – after all, I watched tons of videos, practiced on little projects for months, and while far from talented I felt acceptable.  And so I started…

Michaelangelo? Far from it!!!! Actually, it was kinda close to a mess…kinda like me!

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  • pencil marks (curvy lines) wouldn’t erase, but smeared instead…
  • the ink pen I purchased specifically for journaling bled through; and
  • the distress stain recommended for its translucency was pretty awful bleeding through A LOT ….

so much for that confidence…

 

 

And then a thought hit me last night…what exactly was my motivation in journaling???? Was it to dig deeper into God’s Word? OR… was it to show off?? How much did pride factor into starting this endeavor?????

Although I’m certain digging deeper was a component, my reaction to results revealed something else… in some way could I have been seeking approval or confirmation???  Obviously, there’s still a part of me trying to be good enough for God.  I’m so thankful He uses the simplest things to show me where pieces of my heart lie…

In retrospect, the verse I landed on (Luke 6:45) now speaks volumes…

A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart…

Earlier this week I was sharing how great it is that God is using Bible journaling as a tool to grow us.  As for my growth and confidence level??? I was reminded where my confidence belongs…in God – not myself! What a wonderful lesson – all from a simple exercise.  My acceptance has nothing to do with art – God cares about my heart.

Training Wheels

May 25, 2011

Do you remember learning to ride a bike? You didn’t start with a 10-speed, did you? I sure didn’t…I might have started with a tricycle, but actually my first memory was one of those pedal cars – I was 4 – it was Christmas – my brother and I both received red Ford Mustangs – I LOVED that car! I felt safe and secure as I whizzed around with four wheels on the ground – it was great to feel confident of the direction in which I was headed! But all too soon I outgrew that car and it was time for a bicycle – it doesn’t look that difficult, but geez was I wobbly – I didn’t want “training wheels” – I was a big girl – I could “do it myself” – needless to say, that approach resulted in many skinned knees & elbows – maybe training wheels weren’t such a bad idea after all…

So I succumbed to the idea of training wheels and it wasn’t long before I regained that confidence and security…zooming up and down the street…at some point though, the training wheels had to come off…but they were replaced with a coach…someone running behind to catch me when I fell…someone cheering me on as I gained a sense of confidence once again…

The thing is I (we) need training wheels in life…physical and emotional…I need guidance to gain that sense of confidence in the direction I’m headed! When I try over and over to “do it myself” it’s generally not too terribly long before I’ve skinned my knees & elbows to a nub…but God is so good! He’s always there to catch me when I fall…always there cheering me on as I gain a sense of confidence again…

But here’s the thing…I didn’t learn to ride a bike overnight…it took a lot of time, a ton practice and intense focus…I needed the physical wheels to steady me and definitely needed the coach to guide me and cheer me on…so why in the world would I think developing a deep relationship with God would be any different? It seems as though as soon as I gain the least bit of confidence, I want to drop those wheels…essentially saying, “I can do it myself” – nothing could be farther from the truth.

Confession time…I’ve been trying to drop those wheels and taking my coach a bit for granted…not a proud moment…I’ve found myself wobbly and distracted by the pretty scenery of life. Instead of really practicing and focusing on my relationship with God, I’ve been trying to wing it on my own. Hello????? Will I ever learn it just doesn’t work that way???

TIME. PRACTICE. FOCUS. My wheels are God’s Word and I practice His Word through daily reading and quiet time focused on Him – I will ALWAYS need Him. God is my faithful support and the coach to guide me and cheer me on throughout this journey called Life.