March 10, 2010

While I’m not consciously saying, “No God, I don’t need you on this one – I’ve got it covered” my actions scream it from the rooftops!  The kicker is, even though I’ve begun to have numerous conversations with myself saying, “Trust God with…” now that I look back, for the most part those situations generally have not tested my faith where I feel most vulnerable – letting someone close – close enough to hurt.  And yes, even though I realize my trust is supposed to be in God first because, as humans it is our nature to hurt, disappoint, etc., my actions still fall back to old habits.  Maybe He’s patiently teaching me through example that for any relationship to be successful, He has to be the center and focus.

How will the messy picture I’ve been trying to fix turn out?  Good question – I find comfort though in knowing it’s going to be a masterpiece because it’s God’s painting, not mine – maybe the when and how depends on how willing I am to move out of the way.

The good news is that I’m learning and growing! Pieces of His picture seem to be unfolding faster and faster…it’s easier for me to….well, for lack of a better word…realign to Him.  Sure, I stumble just as much as ever…I’m just not spending so much time trying to control outcomes before I realize those attempts are futile.